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Sunday November 25 2007

The quarter is coming down to the line, and I’ve been swamped with readings and projects for “The History of Opera” class that I’m taking. Most students by now have learned the fine art of “skimming”, while I haven’t. In fact, reading comprehension is one of the hardest areas for me, so I have to read very very slowly and very very carefully, which is probably why I was an editor in Korea; I was so meticulous and critically analyzed each and every sentence. So I’ve spent my Thanksgiving vacation (Thursday until today, being Sunday) reading over Da Ponte’s memoirs about his encounters with Mozart and their plans to produce “Le Nozze di Figaro” (i.e. The Marriage of Figaro) and other readings.

Meanwhile, I’ve been catching up on my reed orders (only 2 behind!) and practicing the Strauss Concerto for the concerto competition which is next week. The problem is, I’ve run out of energy.

I’ve experienced practicing/playing burnout, but I haven’t been doing a great deal of practicing nor playing recently. My Zelenka trio folded, and the chamber music recital is being put on hold until January. But I’m tired. It’s an exhaustion that just creeps into all areas of my life from having worked so hard on my academics. My freshman-Junior year, I pretty much blew off my academic classes, but my Senior year I actually started enjoying them, and it showed in my grades×I made the dean’s list for the first time in my life. Coming back to grad school, I again want to do my best in my academics, and do enjoy the readings and having time to critically analyze all of this stuff, but I think I’m having difficulty with the load. Is it possible?

I always thought that people who didn’t take a full course load had some reason such as a part time job, or an internship, or at the very least, were just lazy. But for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m hitting a ceiling; I can’t read much faster without sacrificing the ability to comprehend what I’m reading; I must still make reeds and fill orders to subsidize our minimal income; I must still drive my wife around at odd hours of the night (6:00 am or so) getting her to or from work.

There has to be a better solution. I’m just not sure what. Meanwhile, my health is suffering, as is my emotional state of mind.

Oh yeah, the ducks got whooped by UCLA… to make things worse.

Cooper left these words on Sunday Nov 25, 2007 at 12:31 AM
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United States bautbois
Nov 25, 2007

A few cheap words of advice, to take or leave:  Don’t worry too much about grades - I assume you don’t want to be an academic but are trying to pave the way for either a performing career or some other application of oboe.  Learn to digest the core of your readings without too closely overreading, as they say some books are meant to be nibbled but most are meant to be digested.  Don’t let the best be the enemy of the good enough!  Don’t let yourself burn out - keep your eye on the prize (as you define it).  Get your wife to learn how to drive (I know it’s not easy, I was once in a similar situation).  Also, do yoga (or whatever escapist physically beneficial exercise works for you).  I could go on with my platitudinous advice, but you get the drift!
——-

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United States HAK
Dec 1, 2007

Just a word of caution: it’s not very professional to badmouth your colleagues in a public forum.

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United States cjwrightoboe
Dec 1, 2007

Perhaps the phrase, “Zelenka trio folded after the 2nd oboist just couldn’t cut it,” sounds a bit harsh, but he did use those exact words. But thanks for the consideration HAK.

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